I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
