I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
