ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
