So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
