Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
