I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
3 2 1 whiskey
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
