ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Jerry, you need to find god
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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