I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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