Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
