laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
