Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
