I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
