i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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