If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
