You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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