Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
