is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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