Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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