Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
