I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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