At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
