I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize