I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize