do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
