Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
