I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
