what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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