girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Boobs speak an international language.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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