my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I think i got beer on your cat.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
