it hurts more in the daytime
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize