sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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