Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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