Your face is a jimmy john
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
