Just fell off a train. Bad.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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