u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
