I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
