When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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