I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well I just put wine in my tea
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
