Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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