i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
