she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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