I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
