Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
