got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
