dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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