you have to choose: penises or morals?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
