she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize