I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
