Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
