it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
