We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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