I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
