he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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