I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize