I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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