I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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