i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize