dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
