Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
