I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
