Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
