You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
