i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize