It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
