so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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